5 years ago Derek Loux came with a team and did a Harp and Bowl workshop at my church in Pennsylvania. While here he talked with me a little bit about music and worship. He gave me a word that basically said he saw me worshipping at IHOP eventually. He saw my heart for worship and prayed that God would begin to cultivate it and to place an even deeper desire for the Holy Place in my heart. My friend Rebecca Grisham was on his team and she also spoke to me about the Fire in the Night internship at IHOP. My spirit was stirred and 5 months later I did the Fire in the Night Internship.
It”s been 4 years now since I completed the Fire in the Night Internship at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO. I was planning on moving to IHOP that June with the Loux’s and be their nanny but it didnt work out on my end. I prayed hardcore for direction, I was lost in a maze of confusion and lack of focus and direction. I began to cry out to God for direction. At the time I was very open to anything and prayed God would give me a sign or a hint or something! That summer Cynthia Ford of Impact Performing Arts School came and worked with my Dance Team that I was teaching. She gave me a phenomenal word from God and the door opened for me to go and train at her school for a season in Avon, NY. I was there for about 5 months and moved back home to figure things out. Again, I was confused and asking God, “Why cant I ever figure out where You want me?” and the Lord basically shook me and said, “Because you’re not listening.” I was shocked because I really thought I had been listening. So I began to pray again. I became the Youth Leader at a local church and helped get a youth building, youth group and youth conference started. It was amazing and God used me to impact some really great teens. I was only there for a short time before the minstry was handed over to Mike and Carol Allen who have been doing a great job with the teens. The vision may be different but their heart was the same. Again, I began to ask God, “What do you want me to do with myself? I have no clue where to go from here.” So I prayed and decided to move back to Avon, NY and be part of a ministry up there called New Life Family Church. I had been involved with their Worship Ministry for the 2 years on and off, driving up every other wknd for church and to sing on the worship team. While I was there nothing was working out. I was literally living on couches, in spare rooms in friends houses, etc. Then an opportunity arose for me to move in with a girl and I did. I was there for a few weeks when she left and moved to Canada without telling me and I ended up getting kicked out because I couldnt afford it on my own. I was left with nothing and nowhere to go. I ended up living in a hotel for 6 weeks and then some doors opened for me to move and rent for 6 months from a lady who rented out rooms. It was good but I was lonely, angry and borderlining depression. I began to pray again, “God, why am I always moving around and never finding satisfaction? Why can’t I just settle somewhere?” Again, the Lord said to me, “Because You are not listening to me.” I stayed in NY for another few months and then ended up moving back to PA due to some issues in the church. While here in PA I have gotten involved a litte with a local ministry and am leading worship part time as well. I have been working on really listening to God’s voice and not getting in my own head. I have been teaching my 5 year old nephew as well and the other day he was sitting in the car with my mom on the way to school and my mom was going to turn on the radio and he said, “Mimi, please dont turn music on. I need it quiet, I am listening for Jesus to talk to me.” She was blown away and began to pray with him. I have learned so much about God’s faithfulness to us even when we are making our own decisions and making our mistakes. He always carries us back. As I have been praying I have been asking God to reveal His will for me. I have known that I would go back to IHOP someday and have been literally homesick for it. 2 weeks ago a friend of mine passed away, Derek Loux. The same person who gave me the word about being at IHOP someday. I started praying again and pleading with God for direction. I finally feel for sure that He has given me the OK to move back to IHOP and I am so excited! I am either going to go to FMA or join Full-time staff. I am hoping to go in September and am so EXCITED! Please continue to pray with me through the next few months as I get some debt paid off and raise the support to go!
I am so excited for you, finally, to listen to God. I am anxious to see him move through you. That is such a huge thing to let go and let God. I am very proud of you. And gotta say a little jeolous with you going to IHOP. An idea for raising money is: Through ebay they sell Dollhouse Christmas Trees you could decorate and sell between $50-$100. Seriously that is what they sell for isn’t that sick. And quite honestly you could make them even prettier, they look quite cheep for the amount of money people pay. That’s one idea. I’ll let you know of any other ideas I come up with. Love you, Barb
Sierra my prayer for you has always been that God would guide and direct. I know what it is like to “wander” and never feel that you are completely where God wants you to be. May Gods will be done in your life and complete everything that He has started in you. This is an awesome oppurtunity and I will definitely continue to pray for you. Love you and miss you.